Serendipity

Timing is everything I've come to learn. Being at the right place at the right time. The movie the vow talks about moments of impact. In a moments notice, how quickly our lives can change courses. “I have a theory too. My theory is about moments. My theory is that, these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down actually end up defining who we are. The thing is, each one of us is the  sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced, with all the people we’ve ever known. It is these moments that become our history, like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our mind, over and over again. A moment of total, physical, mental and every other kind of love.  So that is my theory, that these moments of impact define who we are. A moment of impact has potential for change, has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict.  Sending some particles crashing together making them closer than before, while sending others off into great ventures, ending where you never thought you’d find them. You see that’s the best thing of moments like these, you can’t, no matter how hard you try, control how they are going to effect you. You just got to let these colliding particles land where they may and wait until the next collision.”

I never expected him to come into my life as unexpected as he did. There was no denying there was something there that we couldn't deny. Something deeper than a physical attraction. Though we didn't work out the experience defined who I am today. Every now and again our lives collide and when they do the same feeling comes over me. Some call it serendipity because we find each other unexpectedly. But is it really? I don't know if I can really explain serendipity without making an excuse. I find myself justifying the possibility of us.

What I know: There's a history between us. He opened me to the idea of falling in love all over again. I get butterflies every time. The lesson was not worth the pain. Im aware of what not to do and that someday unexpected love will find me again. Maybe it's serendipity. Maybe it's a moment of impact. Whatever it is... I'm waiting for the next collision where life as you know it ceases to exist for that moment in time of pure bliss.

Dating

Dating

Have you ever been in a situation where you are dating and everything is exciting over text and phone, but all of a sudden in person things get awkward? I figured out the secret ladies! Have no expectations... And look at him as a friend. Remember if you are not in a relationship you can not ask him to treat you like a girlfriend. No expecting PDA, no charming prince to sweep you off your feet, don't expect it to be like the movies! Two examples here: take myself I dated this guy everything was going great he was the one making the plans we went to Vegas and bam he didn't hold my hand or kiss me in public. He was on his phone. Behind closed doors he was charming sweet the perfect guy. So what does this say several things but lets stick to one. I wasn't his girlfriend we are just friends trying the dating thing out. When you act like a girlfriend and expect him to act like your boyfriend it sends him off in this shut down mode because now it just got real suddenly it's moving fast and you scared him off. He no longer wants to date you because he's now confused and doesn't know what he wants. Similar thing happened to my friend Beth. I explained to her a guy will never think anything is wrong. In his head they think it went great. So your feeling miserable and he's great moving on with life. Woman we are our own worst enemy sometimes because we think too much. I took this as a lesson learned and I won't make that mistake again. Know your worth ladies and set the right expectations :)

Listen up!

Simple Enough

Proof it's not you it's them...

Benefits to having a real woman

Saying Goodbye

We all have gone through it. Not willingly but rather by choice. Saying goodbye is always the hardest. Walking away is worse. But holding on is even worse. I've held on longer to things rather than accepting that it wasn't meant to be not because I wasn't ready to close that chapter in my life but rather I would be on an endless mission of finding someone to start over with.

Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to endure. To walk away and accept defeat. In your head you pictured the outcome differently. I read a quote once that basically says no matter how amazing and beautiful you are, it will never work out unless a guy is ready. At that point our instinct is to prove that we are the right one. When this happens walk away! You should never have to prove your worth to anyone! Either they know it or they don't. Would you want someone who thinks or just knows?

Here's the bottom line of dating: either your getting married or breaking up. All other options are your choice, but be prepared for the consequences of those choices. That's why people say it's always best to marry your best friend because it takes years to build that. Whether you agree or not is open to discussion. But the harsh reality is that saying goodbye is always the hardest, but as my childhood friend Rebecca says, one day we will laugh about this on your wedding when you finally meet the right one. I'm optimistic for a pessimistic and I can live with that. It's never easy but your not alone. :)

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift

Say what you will but that girl was on to something when it comes to describing heartbreak. "And when I fell hard, you took a step back without me...I knew you were trouble when you walked in... No apologies, he'll never see you cry, pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why... A new notch on his belt is all I'll ever be..." Or "Losing him was blue like I'd never known, Missing him was dark grey all alone, Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met, Loving him was red, Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you, Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song, Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer, Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong... Tell myself its time now, gotta let go, But moving on from him is impossible, When I still see it all in my head."

I think that about sums it up about how we feel sometimes. And that is totally okay. Get angry. Get sad. Feel bipolar. It's completely normal! At the end of the day your a stronger healthier person. And before you know it you'll be singing another taylor swift song "And I've been spending the last 8 months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end... I walked in expecting you'd be late but you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you you pull my chair out and help me in and you don't know how nice that is. And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did... And we walk down the block to my car I almost brought him up but for the first time what's past is past... But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again."

Moral of the songs is that life goes on eventually you'll begin all over again. Every day your miserable is an opportunity you missed on meeting someone new. When you look at Taylor Swift now she is single and happy in her own skin. So go be happy. Smile! Sometimes you need that break to focus on yourself and recharge. My doctor once told me when your in it it's hard to take a step back and really look at the situation. Could you really see yourself living with this person? Nagging this person? Not appreciating you? The list goes on... Does he still seem perfect? Here's the toughest part to swallow. He's moved on. And you are moping around. Whether you move on 6 months later or a week later the bottom line is your still moving on... So how much time do you want to waste is what it comes down to.

Love is a Drug

Love is a drug

Those that have loved know this addiction well. This is why we continue to seek love or wait for it patiently? Elizabeth Gilbert said it best, "I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heavy, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self."

So there you have it. Love is an addiction. We are in love with the idea of being in love. Plain and simple we want to be a part of what others already have. But is all that real? Could they secretly be wishing to be single? I sure hope not because they aren't missing much. But the idea of falling in love or being in love draws us to take a risk. We don't weigh the pros and cons we just go with it and then when it fails... Your stuck replaying where you misinterpreted certain details. So why do we do this to ourselves? Torture ourselves with the idea that such a thing exists? Love is an addiction and I've learned that certain questions don't have answers and we can debate this topic all day. Here is what I have learned: regardless of the outcome these are experiences meant to shape us. We shouldn't rely on anyone to make our life better, we should be complete already. Love should be a bonus to your already happy life. You make yourself happy. You don't want to end up like that desperate rehab addict who can't kick the habit of love and now needs a fix where ever you can find it. I'm not saying it's easy trust me I'm still kicking the habit and pull myself together but all you can do is look at the bigger picture and take it day by day. I focus on me and everyday gets a little easier and before you know it you will look back and say, "wow, what was I thinking?" Be the positive in your life. Everything else will eventually fall into place. Remember you're not alone. :)

Diary of a Single's Gal

Welcome!

We all have watched that show called "Sex and the City." We all could relate to at least one of those episodes and wish we lived that fabulous lavish lifestyle just as those characters did. I wish I could look into the future and tell myself now not to give up this is what awaits you in x amount of years. Is the exquisite pain worth the love waiting for us?

This blog is dedicated to every single gal out there who just needs the reassurance that she's not alone in the dating world. Many of us share your pain in searching for that one who makes every ordinary day into the best day ever. So don't loose hope, laugh at my experiences, and know your not alone I'm right there with you. Welcome to the diary of a single's gal.